For Karrin

[dresdenforhire]

There's a saying- when the going gets tough the tough get going to the little blonde woman with the cute nose and is even tougher. Not many people say that but it's definitely a saying I use. Well, I don't exactly say it out loud but I definitely think it. I think about Karrin Murphy for a lot of reasons but one of them is definitely help with the tough things. She may not pack a magical wallop but she doesn't need to. Plus she's not afraid to call me on being a dumb ass and that's a very important trait I look for when things are tough. Plus I can fit more gear in the Blue Beetle if she's the other person riding with me.

So that's why I was pulling up outside of her house unannounced late Friday afternoon. I needed help at the last minute for a rather unpleasant job and I knew Karrin Murphy well enough that I knew if she had to she'd cancel plans to help me. Not as any huge favor for me most likely but because she knew I wouldn't ask if it wasn't really important.

Unfolding myself out of the car I made my way up to her front door. I could feel the energy around the place, the magical barrier that all homes had. Of course hers was stronger than most, her grandmother having lived her and it being truly a home.

I stopped short of the door and used my staff to knock. I wasn't sure what types of electronics she might have on her or near the door since I was showing up without warning and I didn't want to fry anything important. I at least try to be courteous about that, especially if I'm going to be asking someone for help.

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[murph]

If Harry ever dared say the word cute in relation to any part of her in front of her she'd probably hand him his teeth in a ziplock baggie. So it's just best that he never did really, for everyone's benefit But even if she would kick his ass for the slightest hint that she was anything less than a 24/7 ass-kicker, she was still going to be there for him when he called.

Or, showed up randomly at her door as he did now.

Karrin looked out the window beside her door, the one grandma Murphy had the lacey curtain on, and saw the tall wizard on her porch. There was a sudden series of unlocking and the door swung open on a petite blonde woman in a tank top and yoga pants. Just beyond her, the furniture of her room had been pushed slightly aside and room for a practice mat laid down, though it was far more likely to be judo or aikido than the more serene yoga.

"I know that look," She said and stepped back leaving the door open for him. "I'll put coffee on, you work up the nerve to tell me what you need me to do." His consideration of her personal items was sweet, but she'd long since moved her computer and tv to her bedroom where they were out of his general range. So the living room and kitchen were fair game until he killed her microwave, that might get him banished.

[dresdenforhire]

I would never tell Karrin she was cute, at least not unless I was on my death bed and even then I wouldn’t put it past her to find some way to make me pay for it. She was cute though. She was also beautiful and brilliant and funny and...

And a whole lot of things I didn’t need to be thinking about, especially not now. I needed to keep things professional and friendly between us even if sometimes I thought it would be nice if-

No, no ifs. I was here to ask her for help, not ask her out. I’d had a whole speech prepared that I would work up to but apparently I have one of those faces that just broadcasts my intentions.

“Hey,” I said, stepping into the house, trying my best to look offended. “I could be here for any number of reasons. Maybe I was in the neighborhood? Or I just missed you and not because I need you to come camping with me?”

[murph]

"Oh? Ok, why are you here?" Her voice called back from the kitchen with a hint of amusement. Karrin paused and then grabbed some cold cuts from her fridge and threw together a plate of sandwiches as well. She knew Harry, his habit of working himself past the point of sleep and hunger was something she didn't see him breaking even with the extra powers Winter had given him.

She gave him time to get comfortable as she finished throwing things together and came out with a tray of food. Coffee, sandwiches and chips placed down on the coffee table while she pulled her furniture back in place and rolling up her work out mat.

The little blonde woman curled up onto her couch, legs tucked in alongside her as she took and sipped her own coffee.

[dresdenforhire]

Well, now I felt like an even bigger heel than before. Here I was about to inconvenience here and she was making me a sandwich. Of course I'd be an even bigger heel if I refused the sandwich after she made it so for the sake of being a good person I graciously accepted it and started to chow down. Either the sandwich was really good or I was really hungry because either way it tasted fantastic.

"So I need you to go camping with me," I said, managing to slow down enough to get the statement out without speaking with a full mouth. I didn't have the best upbringing but I'd been taught manners at least. I didn't always choose to follow them but I did know them. It's much more fun thumbing your nose at cultural norms if you know what they are first. I also couldn't help but be aware of Karrin's proximity. We were on opposite ends of the couch but my mind kept screaming "SHE'S RIGHT THERE!" like I might somehow miss her. Her closeness was both comforting and confusing in ways that I didn't want to unpack but probably should. "There's something in the woods I need to take care of and I'd feel a lot better if you were there watching my back."

[murph]

It must have been that he was really hungry because Karrin was the first to admit that she inherited a lot from Grandma Murphy but she did not get her skills in the kitchen.

She didn't push, she let him eat and have coffee and pull himself together to ask whatever it was he was going to ask of her, they both knew that's why he was there. She wrapped her hands around her own mug of black coffee and sipped until he spoke again.

Camping? That was a new one. Of course the last time she'd been in a forest with him there had been werewolves, or was the Wild hunt the last time? Or did demonReach count, it had trees right? God she was getting way too used to calling bizarre shit normal.

"Ok, I can't believe I have to ask this question but it is you so..define 'take care of.'" Because with him this has alternately meant getting himself killed, getting other things killed, waiting out clocks and setting large portions of buildings on fire, there was an awful lot of gray area there. Then again he also tried to take care of his friends and he did know a bigfoot...so she felt like it was fair question.

[dresdenforhire]

“I need to go visit a Fae that lives in the woods,” I said, polishing off the last of the sandwich. “Not on Winter business, just checking on him and making sure that he’s behaving himself. He doesn’t have a lot of contact outside of animals and I think it’s good for his sanity to talk to something smarter than a chipmunk now and then.”

I realized that I left myself wide open there for a “then why are you talking to him?” joke but it was a little too late to take the words back. Besides, I had met some very clever chipmunks in my time. But there was a bit more to it than just wanting to give him more company than just myself.

“He, ah, he tends to have better manners when women are present. Especially attractive ones who hold authority,” I added, not quite mumbling the words as I took a long sip of coffee to avoid any almost eye contact with Murphy. The warmth creeping into my cheeks is probably from the heat of my beverage and not my blushing, right?

[murph]

Murphy snorted, almost doing a spit take of coffee. She looked like she was about to say something and shook her head. "Too easy." She continued to chuckle quietly another couple seconds as he went on.

"Got it, so you want me to go camping with you in the woods to make sure the big bad fae behaves." She nodded and sat down her coffee, leaning toward him. "So should I be dominant and wear leather. I mean there are easier ways to ask a girl about her kinks you know." She eased back firmly convinced she'd thrown Harry about as far off his game as was possible.

"I get it, you need a gun hand and back up. Give me ten minutes to get some stuff together and we can head out. Will it just be one night or do I need to pack more?" As much as she enjoyed seeing his face go through those many shades of red he needed her help and she could be serious long enough to plan ahead. At least one of them did that.

[dresdenforhire]

I opened my mouth to comment about the leather and domination and then shut it quickly. I could already feel my body warming up to that idea and I could only partially blame it on Winter. Struggling with desires was hard enough on a good day but when there were genuine feelings to cling on to? Yeah, that was a bit rough.

“Yeah,” I said with a bit of a cough. “Yeah that’s just about it. And pack for two. It’s a bit of a hike in and out, nothing too strenuous but it’s a ways. I have a tent and sleeping bags, food and water... just need you.”

This had come spur of the moment but I had planned out what I needed for the trip and adding another person just meant another bag and more supplies. I wasn’t going to mention that the extra sleeping bag was a child’s bag, that could wait until we got there.

[murph]

Was she a bad firend because she loved to watch him blush? For such a bad ass, all powerful wizard Harry was such little girl sometimes. It was one of the things she liked about him, the fact that he general was too absorbed in something weird to see how the world around him was moving and that he had no honest idea how attractive he was.

She knew his half brother had the genetic lottery going on and damn he was pretty to look at, and he smelled good, and his skin looked like it tasted like buttercream.. focus Yeah so Thomas was hot. But he was also a White Court vampire, in love with a mortal or otherwise, he was a deadly predator. Harry was, well not just human, but probably the last guy in the room to know he was being hit on if it came to that. She'd be willing to bet even money he used Star Wars quotes as pick up lines too.

Nerd.

"Ok, sit tight I'll go change and pack, like I said give me ten minutes." She sat her coffee down and pated his knee in passing as she stepped off to her little bedroom and the sounds of drawers and clothing shuffling came from within. She hadn't fully shut the door, so when she grabbed a pair of jean and shimmied out of her yoga pants an observant man might have caught a glimpse.

Less than ten minutes later she emerged, Chicago PD sweatshirt from her former days over a pair of jeans and hiking boots. A small, neat looking tactical bag was slung over one shoulder, a gift from Jarred, he was always thoughtful with gifts, they were always so useful. "I think that's about it, ready when you are."

[dresdenforhire]

While Karrin got dressed I took the dishes to the sink and washed them up, figuring it was the least I could do. On the way back to grab our cups of coffee I glanced over at her room and managed to get a look at her bending over as she stepped out of her pants. Something in me surged and the overwhelming desire to go in there, bend her over, and-

No. No. I quickly looked away and focused on the entirely mundane task of washing the dishes. Grounding myself in normal, everyday jobs that were not sexy at all was a good way to force those particularly frustrating urges away. Still, the sight of her bending over like that wasn’t likely to leave my mind anytime soon.

When she came out of her room in a sweater I almost sighed in relief. That made thinking clearly that much easier. Of course only Murphy could be ready for camping and look like she was going to the gun range.

“I’m glad you pack light since the other supplied take up most of the room in the Blue Beetle,” I said, heading out her front door so that I could hurry and open the car door for her. Since she had to lock up I had no trouble getting there before she did.

[murph]

If he thought she looked like she was going to the range, the illusion would be complete with the shoulder rig she grabbed from the hall on her way out. The guns she had were safely stowedin her bag, locked and secure as any responsible gun owner would have them.

By the time she'd shut of the lights, sets her security system made sure Mister had food and water for a couple days and locked her door she was not the first to reach the car. The long legged wizard stood there with the door open and that dumb smirk on his face. "Jerk." She stared at him and the car for a long moment before she snorted and tossed her bag in the back and took a seat in the disaster he drove.

She fastened her belt and folded her arms across her chest, he was already starting this off as a war.

[dresdenforhire]

“You’re welcome,” I said, sounding all the world like she had thanked me for opening the door. I knew full well I was going to pay for that later but that was kind of the point. Maybe I had just never grown past the “he’s teasing you because he likes you” stage or because I just liked having “a thing” with Murphy I didn’t mind whatever payback was coming.

Folding myself into the Beetle I reached in the back and handed her one of those insulated lunch sacks that kids took to school.

“Snacks for the road?” I asked, a semi-peace offering for the door stunt. “It’s not a long trip but it’s a good excuse to eat gummy bears and jerky.”

[murph]

Ooooh that shin was begging for it. She was still glaring when he got into the car and handed her a bag. She opened it and made a face. "Do you know how much sugar is in gummie bears?" She tsked and was about to make a further joke but his present physique would prove it wrong. So instead she took a piece of jerky and tore off a small bit with her teeth.

"So do I need to know anything in particular? Like does it have the same sort of respect thing the Gruffs did? Because we got along fine after we established how things were gonna be there." But other beings were not so easy to deal with, in fact some were down right rude about it.

She chewed thoughtfully as he drove, thinking how much nicer the trip would be in her car, her car with a working heater and comfortable seats. Hisc ar was cobbled together out of parts he'd managed to get from pick and pull yards over the years. But it seemed to work for him, most of the time.

[dresdenforhire]

“Bout this much,” I said, reaching into the bag of gummy bears and pulling one out and holding it between my thumb and forefinger before popping it in my mouth. One cannot eat just a single one though so I grabbed a handful and chewed down on them while I thought on her question.

“No, Rogust doesn’t really care about that as long as you’re moderately polite. He likes nature and he likes stories,” I explained. I always wondered if Rogust was the inspiration for Rhadagast the Brown and old JRR was actually in the know with some of the supernatural community. “Some Fae are fine with very little contact with others but Rogust... I worry that without someone to tell his stories to he’ll forget himself. I’m hoping that bringing someone new, with good stories of their own, and that he’ll want to impress will help remind him of who he is.”

Sometimes people lost who they were and became someone or something else. Sometimes that was a natural part, butterflies and all that. Other times it was less natural and more... I don’t know. More tragic. And I felt like if Rogust lost who he was the world would be lesser for it. I know I can’t save everyone but if I can save one being just chatting with them? Then I’ll do that.

[murph]

"You and your stupid metabolism." She grunted at him and chewed her jerky slowly, letting him at least save her from the gummies as he devoured them.

"I can be polite." She had worked years for CPD, she'd had to play nice with people who had metaphorical knives at her throat. Then again as Harry's friends, she had also done that in a more literal sense. Either way, if this creature was good to just talk and listen she was sure it wouldn't be too bad.

"Sounds like he should start a vlog, those things are popular. Or maybe a podcast, there's one I listen to while I work out that's really good." Of course, she also didn't blow up technology when she was having a bad day like some wizards who shall remain nameless. He was still the only reason she ever invested in extended warranties on things.

But he was being introspective in there, all up in the big head of his and she could see that. "So what else is going on with you? I can't help but notice you've been kind of scarce lately."

[dresdenforhire]

"Look it's not my fault I'm three times your size," I pointed out. Just because that meant I could eat three times as much as she did with it having the same effect meant nothing. Besides, I know that she burned a lot of calories with her workouts so it wasn't like she had to be completely strict with her diet. And spaghettios cooked on the stove in the can was a perfectly valid meal.

"What podcast is that?" I asked, not that I could really join in on the fun. Sometimes if Billy heard something he thought I'd really like he would record it on to a cassette tape for me.

I thought about not answering her other question for a moment. What was going on with me? That was a pretty loaded question and one I wasn't even sure I knew how to answer. "I've been busy. Winter things. Demonreach things. Wizard things."

[murph]

"Just history stuff, some great old stories about World War two." She wasn't going to cover that she listened to audiobooks sometimes too and that she had developed a taste for detective stories. They were terrible of course, but now and then she'd find a gem that wasn't filled with guys who treated women like crap and had to protect them. She liked the mystery of it and when they got the details of crime-solving right.

"Wizard things." She nodded and went silent for a long minute. "Miss you." She didn't whisper it, just stated it as a matter of fact as it was, a simple truth. He'd been absent from a lot of their lives and she'd let him have his space knowing he'd been through a lot and needed it. But she wasn't just going to not say something.

[dresdenforhire]

My heart and stomach did strange things at hearing that she missed me. It was nice to hear, it was always nice to hear that someone missed you and maybe I’m projecting but it was especially nice to hear it from her.

“I miss you too,” I say. It was almost an automatic response, almost but not quite because I don’t want to be flippant about it or make it sound like I was saying it as a matter of course. Because I didn’t miss her, I missed her in a lot of different ways. “I- that’s the main reason I asked you to come. The other stuff is true but... I miss you, Murphy. And I know that’s on me, I’m the one that’s been distant because sometimes it’s difficult to...”

To be around her because of the feelings I have for her? For the lust that the Winter Mantle grabs on to when I think about her sometimes? I’d like to say that it was just the Winter thing but it’s also the other things.

“I miss you too. I don’t like not being with you,” I admitted, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye before turning my gaze back to the road. It was important to look ahead and not at her reaction because I was being a good driver and not because I was afraid what I’d see there. Nope, not that at all.

[murph]

She let him speak, it seemed like whenever there was something to insult or something to babble on about he never shut up but when it came to honest feelings he rarely said things. Even more rarely did he say things without pulling back on them a bit as though that made it easier if he didn't admit the depth of something.

She could deal with that when it came to him talking about how he was hurting because she didn't need him to talk for her to know that. She'd seen enough fighting and injury to know when something hurt like hell even if some big jerk had a mystical elemental force pushing him on. She knew where she stood there.

But with them, them she was never sure.

"Pretty simple solution for that you know." Yeah, she was going to stick that to him. "You could come around more often. I'd like it if you did." He had to know she was going there. Right?

"But I get why you feel like you need to be alone sometimes, I just wish you'd realize that you have people who want to be there for you." She wasn't even just saying herself, there were lots of people that cared about him. He could consider himself lucky that she dropped it there rather than digging in about it.

[dresdenforhire]

I tapped my fingers nervously on the steering wheel while Murphy spoke. We were definitely having this conversation even if we were dancing around it a bit though I had a feeling we wouldn't be dancing much longer. Even despite the nerves though I felt a flush of warmth when she mentioned that she would like it if I came around more often. The tiny Sally Fields in my brain was calling out "She likes me, she really, really likes me!" That may be rather juvenile but I was going to blame that on not having a lot of experience with adult relationships. Okay that and the fact that I could be pretty juvenile at times. Still... she likes me! She really, really likes me!

I opened my mouth to reply to her comment about having people who want to be there for me before closing it, not trusting the first thing to come out of my mouth. I didn't want to say something stupid or flippant so I actually thought about my answer first.

"I know, and I'm grateful. It's just... hard. The Winter Mantle- it pushes on parts of me that I don't like and I don't like the idea of other people seeing those more at the forefront," I said. Which sounded pretty stupid I know. Murphy and my other friends didn't like me because I was perfect then cared despite the fact that I wasn't. That didn't change the fact that I was ashamed or worried about those sides coming out. "When I'm around you for example the Mantle really picks on some of my, uh, stronger physical feelings for you. It makes me want to take and dominate which... that's not even the side of that kink I'm into."

I managed to say all of that with a straight face and I'm pretty sure I wasn't blushing. At least not much. I still can't look over at her though but I feel like I should get points for saying it. Well, you know, at least sort of saying, "the Winter Mantle makes me want to hold you down and bang you like a screen door but that is the opposite of what I'm normally into".

[murph]

This was a lot more real talk than they had done about things between them in a long time. She'd lost track of the number of times one of them had said to the other 'when this is all over we should talk' or some variant thereof.

So she let him talk, and to his credit, he didn't stumble or make some wisecrack, he just honestly said what he felt. Karrin had to feel like that was progress right?

Though when he brought up what winter tended to amp in him her brow did raise and she found herself listening more intently. Did he just say it made him want to.. yeah he did. But he wasn't the kind who leaned to the dominant side of things. Well, that was something that she hadn't exactly picked up on before but in retrospect it made sense. His tendency had been toward strong, aggressive women, and his attraction to women who could kick his ass she had always chalked up to just his type.

"Harry, I dated Kincade, if you don't think things got a little rough in the sheets with the Hell Hound you're really not getting the picture. And I held my own in that department, just so you know" Well more often than not she was holding Jared's but that was beside the point and a pitiful joke.

"But it's nice to know what side of the kink you are into." She said thoughtfully. "I tend to be kind of take charge myself, never have been one to be controlled or told what to do. Come to think of it that probably explains why things never worked with Rick."

[dresdenforhire]

“If we could not bring up exes?” I suggested. Part of that was because it made Winter howl with the desire to dominate and claim. Another pet was just that I wanted to think more about the here and now and not the past. “And Rick is just an idiot. But point taken. I never took you for the passive type in anything though.”

I let out a long breath. Then I took in a deep breath and let it out as well. I checked my rear view mirrors before pulling off to the side of the road. If we were going to have a conversation like this I wanted to be able to look at her for more than a second. Even as I turned to face her and focus on that cute nose of hers to avoid a Soul Gaze I could feel myself blushing.

“Would you...” I began, floundering for words for a moment. I brought up my hands and flailed them around a bit too, seeing if that could help me figure out what to say but it wasn’t as effective as I’d hoped. “I care about you. A lot. As a friend and partner and... more. Karrin Murphy... would you top me? Would you top me so hard the entire world knows I’m yours?”

Not the most conventional way to ask someone if they’d be your girl but I’ve been known to be slight unconventional at times.

[murph]

"Sorry." But it wasn't like Rick wasn't part of her life still because Lisa had to go and marry the son of a bitch. She was still sure the two of them did it just to fuck with her. But they both knew that they each had a past, she knew how badly he'd hurt after Susan left and even more so after what ultimately happened. She'd been there for that, for him. Only just starting to realize how much she'd felt for him around that time.

Apparently, he was uncomfortable with the conversation and pulled over for what she was sure was going to be yet another instance of him telling her how he couldn't stop to think about things like that right now. How he couldn't afford the distraction of this or that. So she took a breath and reached for that centering she held when she was running through practice. When he turned to face her she mirrored his movement, her own hands very still resting on her thigh.

Would she what? Let it all go? Forget about it? Get over him and move on, again? She had some choice words for that if he was going to try that out with her again. And then he started the classic spiel of I care about you but, you're a great friend but... But that was not even remotely where the conversation turned and Karrin was utterly unprepared to hear it.

She blinked several times working his words around in her head, she took almost a minute reviewing every tiny implication of his questions. And when you're alone in a car at night, one minute is a terribly long time for the other person.

She turned her hands over each other, thinking carefully over her response and looking up at him with a nod of decision. She moved slightly toward him, her hand snaking out as quick as a trained fighter was capable, and snagged him roughly by the back of his neck. "Get over here and fucking kiss me." She hauled him toward her.

[dresdenforhire]

I thought I was going to throw up. My stomach was churning so hard I actually put a hand on the window crank so that I could roll it down if I actually did need to throw up. She just sat there blinking and I could tell she was thinking through what I'd said and taking forever to answer. Either she was taking very careful consideration before talking or this was some sort of payback for... well for so many things I don't know that I could count them all. I'd certainly deserve it if it was payback.

When she did move it was so quick that it was like I was getting struck by a snack. I barely had time to register her words before she pulled me toward her and kissed me with so much heat I thought I'd burn. Or maybe I was burning, it certainly felt like it from the sudden warmth rushing toward me. My lips met hers and I kissed her back fiercely. Winter inside of me howled for more but I pushed it down. This was me. This was all me wanting and needing Karrin Murphy so badly that it hurt in the best way. My hand cupped her face, thumb lightly brushing against her cheek despite the passion of our kiss. Someone made a growling motion of need followed by a bit of a whimper and I'm pretty sure it was me. I didn't care though because my entire world right now was Karrin Murphy and the feel of her lips on mine and the ache of my body for hers.

[murph]

She kissed him, tasted him, took his kiss from him for a long breathless while. She'd turn and tilt only to deepen the kiss and her hand guided him the same way. Not until she felt the burn of needing to breathe did she release him and drew a deep, sharp gasp of breath. She was shaking but it had nothing to do with the cold. She blinked up at him and it was the slow, lazy blink of someone who finally got what they'd been hungry for. And with absolutely zero self-consciousness she licked her lips as though getting ready for a second course.

"You have no idea how long I've wondered what that would feel like." She smiled and her fingers brushed over kiss swollen lips a teasing phantom of what they'd been doing. "I'm not going to fuck you in this car, I'm not a goddamned teenager. But we're going to set up a camp tonight, right?" She waited for him to nod and then she nodded too.

"Then tonight I'll get to find out what other things have made me wet in the past few years wondering over." She cupped his chin in her hand. "Like what else that mouth might be good for besides pissing off cops and bad guys."