For Karrin

[dresdenforhire]

There's a saying- when the going gets tough the tough get going to the little blonde woman with the cute nose and is even tougher. Not many people say that but it's definitely a saying I use. Well, I don't exactly say it out loud but I definitely think it. I think about Karrin Murphy for a lot of reasons but one of them is definitely help with the tough things. She may not pack a magical wallop but she doesn't need to. Plus she's not afraid to call me on being a dumb ass and that's a very important trait I look for when things are tough. Plus I can fit more gear in the Blue Beetle if she's the other person riding with me.

So that's why I was pulling up outside of her house unannounced late Friday afternoon. I needed help at the last minute for a rather unpleasant job and I knew Karrin Murphy well enough that I knew if she had to she'd cancel plans to help me. Not as any huge favor for me most likely but because she knew I wouldn't ask if it wasn't really important.

Unfolding myself out of the car I made my way up to her front door. I could feel the energy around the place, the magical barrier that all homes had. Of course hers was stronger than most, her grandmother having lived her and it being truly a home.

I stopped short of the door and used my staff to knock. I wasn't sure what types of electronics she might have on her or near the door since I was showing up without warning and I didn't want to fry anything important. I at least try to be courteous about that, especially if I'm going to be asking someone for help.

Comments

[dresdenforhire]

“If we could not bring up exes?” I suggested. Part of that was because it made Winter howl with the desire to dominate and claim. Another pet was just that I wanted to think more about the here and now and not the past. “And Rick is just an idiot. But point taken. I never took you for the passive type in anything though.”

I let out a long breath. Then I took in a deep breath and let it out as well. I checked my rear view mirrors before pulling off to the side of the road. If we were going to have a conversation like this I wanted to be able to look at her for more than a second. Even as I turned to face her and focus on that cute nose of hers to avoid a Soul Gaze I could feel myself blushing.

“Would you...” I began, floundering for words for a moment. I brought up my hands and flailed them around a bit too, seeing if that could help me figure out what to say but it wasn’t as effective as I’d hoped. “I care about you. A lot. As a friend and partner and... more. Karrin Murphy... would you top me? Would you top me so hard the entire world knows I’m yours?”

Not the most conventional way to ask someone if they’d be your girl but I’ve been known to be slight unconventional at times.

[murph]

"Sorry." But it wasn't like Rick wasn't part of her life still because Lisa had to go and marry the son of a bitch. She was still sure the two of them did it just to fuck with her. But they both knew that they each had a past, she knew how badly he'd hurt after Susan left and even more so after what ultimately happened. She'd been there for that, for him. Only just starting to realize how much she'd felt for him around that time.

Apparently, he was uncomfortable with the conversation and pulled over for what she was sure was going to be yet another instance of him telling her how he couldn't stop to think about things like that right now. How he couldn't afford the distraction of this or that. So she took a breath and reached for that centering she held when she was running through practice. When he turned to face her she mirrored his movement, her own hands very still resting on her thigh.

Would she what? Let it all go? Forget about it? Get over him and move on, again? She had some choice words for that if he was going to try that out with her again. And then he started the classic spiel of I care about you but, you're a great friend but... But that was not even remotely where the conversation turned and Karrin was utterly unprepared to hear it.

She blinked several times working his words around in her head, she took almost a minute reviewing every tiny implication of his questions. And when you're alone in a car at night, one minute is a terribly long time for the other person.

She turned her hands over each other, thinking carefully over her response and looking up at him with a nod of decision. She moved slightly toward him, her hand snaking out as quick as a trained fighter was capable, and snagged him roughly by the back of his neck. "Get over here and fucking kiss me." She hauled him toward her.

[dresdenforhire]

I thought I was going to throw up. My stomach was churning so hard I actually put a hand on the window crank so that I could roll it down if I actually did need to throw up. She just sat there blinking and I could tell she was thinking through what I'd said and taking forever to answer. Either she was taking very careful consideration before talking or this was some sort of payback for... well for so many things I don't know that I could count them all. I'd certainly deserve it if it was payback.

When she did move it was so quick that it was like I was getting struck by a snack. I barely had time to register her words before she pulled me toward her and kissed me with so much heat I thought I'd burn. Or maybe I was burning, it certainly felt like it from the sudden warmth rushing toward me. My lips met hers and I kissed her back fiercely. Winter inside of me howled for more but I pushed it down. This was me. This was all me wanting and needing Karrin Murphy so badly that it hurt in the best way. My hand cupped her face, thumb lightly brushing against her cheek despite the passion of our kiss. Someone made a growling motion of need followed by a bit of a whimper and I'm pretty sure it was me. I didn't care though because my entire world right now was Karrin Murphy and the feel of her lips on mine and the ache of my body for hers.

[murph]

She kissed him, tasted him, took his kiss from him for a long breathless while. She'd turn and tilt only to deepen the kiss and her hand guided him the same way. Not until she felt the burn of needing to breathe did she release him and drew a deep, sharp gasp of breath. She was shaking but it had nothing to do with the cold. She blinked up at him and it was the slow, lazy blink of someone who finally got what they'd been hungry for. And with absolutely zero self-consciousness she licked her lips as though getting ready for a second course.

"You have no idea how long I've wondered what that would feel like." She smiled and her fingers brushed over kiss swollen lips a teasing phantom of what they'd been doing. "I'm not going to fuck you in this car, I'm not a goddamned teenager. But we're going to set up a camp tonight, right?" She waited for him to nod and then she nodded too.

"Then tonight I'll get to find out what other things have made me wet in the past few years wondering over." She cupped his chin in her hand. "Like what else that mouth might be good for besides pissing off cops and bad guys."

[dresdenforhire]

"Hell's Bell's you're a monster," I groaned, my head thudding against the headrest of the car. Every nerve ending was on fire with pleasure and want and I didn't think it had anything to do with the Winter Mantle and everything to do with Karrin Murphy and that kiss. And the way she licked her lips. And what she'd said. That woman was a damned menace and I was crazy about her.

"And I'll be happy to show you," I said, starting the car back up with a slightly trembling hand of excitement. It wasn't just the prospect of using my mouth on her more but just... this was real. This was US and it was real and I hadn't realized how badly I'd wanted this until now. We'd danced around things for a while and of course I'd wondered about what it would be like in little ways but I felt this sort of deep down in my soul. I'm sure that sounded stupid but out of all the people I trusted I trusted her the most. I enjoyed her presence the most. She was the best.

How tight my pants felt right now reminded me that she was a menace though.

"How long, exactly, have you wondered?" I asked, trying to make the question sound casually as I got up to speed. Well, as up to speed as the Beetle would allow.

[murph]

"You don't know the half of it." She smirked and turned back in her seat, hands demonstrably tugging her jeans down a bit in the thigh to keep her from getting too hot before they got around to being able to do something about it.

If he was hoping to wipe that smile off her face those were the exact wrong words to use to do it, her mind was already running with ideas and the most sincere hope that he hadn't suddenly picked up mind reading with his other wintery powers. She considered letting one hand take a grip on his thigh but given his driving was questionable at the best of times she kept them in her own lap.

She tipped her head back to rest against the mismatched seat of the Beetle and thought it over. "Remember when we fought that tree monster at the Walmart?" She nodded to herself. "I toyed with the idea then, but you had just gone through everything with Susan and the last thing you needed was anything romantic, you needed a friend, so that's what I was."

She folded her arms under her chest and it might have been a trick of the weak light or maybe, just maybe, there was a raised peak casting a shadow from the center of either breast. Then again maybe it was just cold in the car. "But it got more serious when we were in the Deeps, and Lara cut loose with those White Court powers. Even as fucked up as I was over what her father had done I was hotter than I'd ever been and you were the only thing I was thinking about. So, good thing everything happened the way it did I guess. Saved me the embarrassment of doing unspeakable things to you." At least then.

[dresdenforhire]

“Okay Whampire whammy doesn’t count,” I argued. I did not want Lara Raith having credit for someone wanting to sleep with me. She would just enjoy that thought far, far too much. I did like the idea of Murphy thinking of me like that though and my mind wanted to wander down that lane a bit which was not the best of ideas because, you know, driving.

Besides, I was already distracted by her squirming and trying to keep my eyes on the road. It was very obvious that I was turned on and it wasn’t like I thought Karrin was some sort of nun I just... it was going to take a bit for me to think of her thinking of me like that. I definitely LIKED it, it was just going to be an adjustment was all. I had a feeling it would be a quick one though.

“I... don’t really feel comfortable fantasizing about others,” I admitted, although I had a feeling that wasn’t any big surprise to her. That sort of thing just always felt like an invasion of privacy or a step too far for me. It wasn’t the sort of thing I expected others to feel the same about it but It was a hang up I really couldn’t get past. “But I’ve, uh, there are definitely times I’ve thought it would be fun to try some things with you.”

[murph]

"If I was hot for Lara or Thomas or one of the Raiths I'd agree with you. But I was thinking about you. And oh, the thoughts I had." She drew out the syllables like she was talking about good quality chocolate or a fine firearm.

Her squirm was not at all helped by remembering that incident or the feelings and dreams she'd carried with her for some time after it. They had been wild, she had to give it to the Raiths that they had a power alright, and they would not be touching on that time there was the whole beer incident. Just. No.

"You're able to control your fantasies? Huh." She looked a little puzzled by that. "Mine usually just come to me, no pun intended. "Mostly in the shower really, which I guess makes sense with your ice-cold shower. Not nearly as conducive as a hot shower or bath and the need to relax." She turned to look out the window as they drive.

"So, what have you thought would be fun to try with me?" She thought not looking at him might make him feel a little easier about telling her.

[dresdenforhire]

I gave a bit of a groan and managed to bite it off before it sounded too obscene. It occurred to me that I probably didn’t have to censor myself like that around her anymore but old habits died hard. The way she was saying the words as much as what she was saying hand goosebumps running down my spine though. Probably just more blood flow directed to below my waist.

“I figured I could hold you up no problem. Especially if your legs were around my waist and you were pressed up against the wall,” I admitted. While the height difference was definitely going to cause us to think creatively about a few positions there were plenty that were going to be easier because of it. “Also, I’ve noticed how hard and well you ride and I want to know how you taste...”

[murph]

She was trying to play nice, now that the cat was most definitely out of the bag. But there was only so much that could be done when you're discussing things you've wanted to do with the person you've wanted to do them with for years. She had come to terms with her feelings both romantic and otherwise and while she wasn't ready to necessarily venture in the L word about things she knew that what was between them was special, strong, and worth pursuing.

"God, yes." She snapped when he mentioned the wall, her eyes closing for a moment to take that image in. "So many times I've wanted to grab a handful of your hair and just guide you to use your tongue for something that wouldn't piss me off."

She flexed her fingers, possibly considering the grip she'd need on him.

[dresdenforhire]

“It would shut me up, you’d only hear my growls and groans because I would REALLY get into it,” I said, warming up to this mutual teasing. I don’t claim to be any sort of world class lover, I leave that up to Thomas, but I’m an attentive and enthusiastic learner for sure. Something also told me that Karrin would be very clear in what she wanted me to do and that got me as excited as anything else. I wondered if I teased a bit she’d get downright angry or rough about it? I hoped so.

“And I may desperately be wanting to see what that ass looks like without anything covering it,” I added. Karrin didn’t have a bad feature about her and while her chest was plenty incredible her backside was a sculpted thing of beauty. She put a lot of hard work into it and I was very willing to make sure it got the appreciation it deserved.

[murph]

"Rude to talk with your mouth full Dresden, you'd have to be punished." She looked back at him, biting her lower lip with all the ideas she had of things she could and wanted to do to him. She was looking at the angle of his jaw now and imagining how that stubbled jutting prominence would feel between her thighs. So much for getting more comfortable in her seat.

"You've seen me in my underwear, you have a good idea. But if you want a better one I would be more than happy to make you worship me." There was something she'd never even brought up in their conversations before, she'd never even alluded to what her proclivities might be. That she compensated for her literal shortcomings by being more dominant in the bedroom turned out to be a bonus for them both.

"How much further?"

[dresdenforhire]

“Karrin,” I growled. I meant it to sound like a warning but it came out more as a “punish me, please” sort of sound. I couldn’t really complain though because it was pretty obvious that’s where that pet of our relationship was headed. Also, you know, I got really turned on by that sort of thing so there was also that.

“That’s the point. I don’t want to just see it, I want to worship it. All of it. All of you. I- I want to make sure there’s no doubt how much I care about and want you,” I added. Because it wasn’t about the physical stuff, at least not just that. Karrin Murphy deserved someone that adored her, that would shower her with adoration for being the incredible woman she was. And I really wanted that job. “And not much farther. Then we have to hike for a bit. I guess we probably won’t need the Rugrats sleeping bad I brought for you though? One will probably do fine for the both of us.”

[murph]

Rugtats sleeping bag? For her? Karrin's eyes narrowed at him for that remark. Did he do it just so she would punish him? She wouldn't put it past him now that she knew what she knew of his proclivities.

"Oh I don't know, you might want to bring it I can think of a place you can stick it if you're worried about space." She snarked back at him but if tonight went the way they'd both been talking so far she wasn't sure either of them was going to be doing much sleeping, in a bag or out.

So since he wanted to be a jerk, why shouldn't she. "It's magnificent by the way." She said just matter of factly. "My ass. Jared said it was the best ass he'd ever seen, and he's seen all kinds." She leaned back as if remembering. "He had these big hands that could just reach down and grab a cheek in each hand and pull me right up to his mouth." She casually looked over at him as if just now noticing. "Huh, you have pretty big hands too don't you."

[dresdenforhire]

I snorted in laughter at the comment about where she thought we could stick the sleeping bag and remarked that I was glad it wasn't very big if that was the case. Again, that was entirely deserved and I didn't mind that banter. The comment about Kincaid hit me differently though, my jaw clenching tight and my hands white knuckling the steering wheel. Winter demanded that we pull over now and stake a claim to Murphy and then go find Kincaid and fight him to the death. My own feelings mirrored the first impulse but I wasn't such a caveman or so suicidal that I wanted to do the second. But that's what made the Winter Mantle so insidious, sometimes it so closely resembled my own thoughts.

I was a big boy though and took a few deep breaths to relax myself. This was just teasing banter and I wasn't some knuckle dragging ape that thought Karrin was my possession or anything. My knuckles were at least a few inches off the ground, thank you very much.

"Extra large, at least according to my gloves," I acknowledged just as I pulled the Beetle off of the main highway and onto a side road. Just a bit farther down here and we could park and then hike the rest of the way in. "Only one way to find out if they serve your purposes."

[murph]

"I think they'll do just fine." She'd meant it to sting a little bit but not cause quite the reaction he'd shown, she didn't want to start things off that way. Teasing was a fun easy thing with them but that sort of tease took on new meaning now that they were talking about what they were.

"You know I only get serious right? If I'm with you, I'm with you nobody else. I'd expect the same." She was still in that position of power but also letting him know she was meeting him there. If he really was all in then so was she and she wasn't looking for anything else anywhere else.

She felt the bumps when they moved from paved road to side road and she figured they were getting closer to where they were headed, on a number of levels.

"Also before anything happens I need to know something, and this is absolutely non negotiable." She was serious now, and she waited till they parked to continue because she wanted to be looking at him when she said it. "Before any clothes come off, before any touching. I need to know your safeword because I never want to do anything that is going to hurt you in a way that you're not going to enjoy."

[dresdenforhire]

I would hope that Karrin would know I'm all in too and there's no one else I'm interested and I wouldn't even consider "seeing other people". I don't think I'm built that way and couldn't see other people even if that's what the other person wanted.

"I'm an all or nothing kind of guy with relationships, Karrin. And you're definitely my all," I said. Super cheesy I'm sure but she was definitely going to have to get used to that because it was really the only way I knew how to be. My heartfelt sentiments tended to run along cheesy lines even though they were entirely earnest. Or maybe it was me being earnest that made them cheesy?

"And, ah, I don't have a safe word," I admitted before hastily adding, "Yet. It's never come up with a partner before. Guess I haven't felt comfortable enough to go to that place with someone before. "But my safe word is... Dagobah."

[murph]

"You...fucking nerd." It came out with a laugh and somehow a tone that held absolutely no insult to it. No matter what else changed with him he was still and always would be the Harry Dresden who had been driving her crazy for years.

When it was safe to lean over she did, and she kissed him again but this time it wasn't all fire and passion. It was gentle and appreciative and held a warmth that radiated from her kisses like that, and all that went with them were the kind of thing that protected from White Court vampires.

She took her time with the kiss, slow and measured, and with her being the one to lean across the car this time it was a bit easier and less awkward to manage. It was sweet almost literally she felt like she could taste sweetness on his lips. This time the kiss ended not in breathless heated need but in sated pleasure.

"Come on, I hear it's a hike to the campsite, and if you want to walk behind me and check out my ass you're going to need to get moving before we lose the light." She patted his cheek and grabbed her own bag as she got out of the car, ready for the hike.

[dresdenforhire]

I was about to argue that it was a really good safe word because who wouldn't stop when talking about a swampy planet with an old, green Jedi Master? But then she was kissing me and I was MUCH more interested in doing that than arguing about how awesome my safeword was. The kiss was slow and warm instead of heated and needy like the earlier kiss and it was amazing in it's own way. I felt my entire body melt and relax in a way it hadn't in a long, long time. I don't want to say it was like it was coming home or I found a missing piece to myself but it was similar to that. It was just good. It was good and it felt right to feel her soft lips pressed to mine and to taste her.

When she pulled away all I could respond to her comment was a pleased "Mmmmm" because my brain was slightly broken from just how good the kiss was. Giving a sappy, happy sigh I unfolded myself from the car and started grabbing supplies out of the backseat before doing the same with the trunk. I had a nice backpack with a bedroll along with a sleeping bag that was lined with some spells that would keep it warmer than a bag as thin as it was had any right to be. Being nearly 7 feet tall I needed a lot of bag to fit me which already made it big, I didn't want to add bulk by making it thick to be warm.

"Your pack," I added, holding one out for her. It was considerably lighter than mine and I was sure when we trekked out she'd make sure she carried more of the weight but for now she was stuck with this. Once she had it situation instead of walking behind her, as much as I was tempted, but instead reached down... and down and down, to grasp her hand with mine. I could swear I felt a jolt of something at the touch and a giddy part of me that was still a child wanted to dance around calling out "I'm holding hands with my girl!!!" Instead I just asked, "Ready?"

[murph]

"Thank you." She took the pack and shrugged into it, waiting for him to close the bonnet and join her. She was surprised when he took her hand though, hers not having nearly the reach issue he was. But it felt comfortable and right, even with the size difference of his massive hand.

Been ready. Just waiting for you. What took you so long to catch up? a few smart ass quips came to mind but she shrugged them off for simply nodding and saying "Yeah."

The woods were darker than the open road had been which made her glad for the clip-on light she'd thought to bring, she snapped it in and fixed it to the strap of her pack. "So how long have you known you leaned that way?" She looked up at him, and neither her tone nor expression held any judgment. Everyone liked something and it wasn't her place or way to think one way or another about it.

[dresdenforhire]

“Huh, good question,” I admitted as I scratched at the back of my head with my staff. This was one of the few places where carrying a big old wooden stick wasn’t out of place, the other being a hockey game. “I think... it was always a little there? I knew pretty early on I really liked pleasing my partner. At first I thought it was just because I knew that as a guy it was pretty much a given I was going to enjoy myself and that really didn’t seem fair so I really threw myself into pleasing the other person.”

And Elaine certainly hadn’t complained. Also it was hard to imagine Elaine being submissive even back then. Not that all relationships had to have those roles but still. That wasn’t her.

“And I’ve always been attracted to strong women but I haven’t really had a partner before where I felt I could really... let go with this sort of thing,” I admitted. Maybe it was maturity or maybe some part of me knew that Luccio didn’t like me for me, I don’t know. “It’s just much, much more of an exciting idea when I imagine you doing it.”

[murph]

Karrin listened and didn't interrupt, this was real talk and they didn't do that a lot these days. She was glad they could start whatever it was they were starting on the right foot, with communication.

"I think I started when I was a kid." She realized how that sounded and hastily spoke again. "I don't mean sexually, just that well Dad always wanted sons who would follow his footsteps, well he got two of each instead. And being the oldest I decided I'd do it. I'd be just like him. It sure as hell wasn't going to be Lisa. " She'd set her mind to it from a young age and made good on that.

"I guess it started there and just felt natural, taking charge, leading, being responsible for people." She gave his hand a squeeze. "Because that's part of it too you know, it'll be my job to make sure you're ok. You have to tell me when things get intense or too much, and we slow down or stop." Because the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, well in a way that wasn't ultimately his choice and pleasure.

"You set it off in me right away I think, when we met. You're just so damned contrary and you have problems with authority figures." He would be lying if he tried to deny that.

[dresdenforhire]

"Hold on," I said, needing a bit of clarification for that. Sure I knew that I was a pain in her ass since day one and in my defense I only had a problem with authority figures that tried to tell me what to do that was a tiny bit on her. Teeny tiny. But I needed her to clarify something for me. "I'm just trying to clear up the timeline of 'Karrin wants to bang Harry'... I set you off in a 'I want to punch his tall face until he listens' kind of way or 'I want to ride his tall face so he can't talk' kind of way from the beginning? Or both?"

Because I was already getting a bit head that Karrin Freaking Murphy and I were together. I mean I was sure I had a huge grin on my face since she first kissed me and I was going to be insufferable about this but if she'd wanted me for that long? Yeah, I might just be slightly more insufferable.

[murph]

Jesus, really? Karrin rolled her eyes and didn't even both looking at him. "Ninety five - five, more the former than the latter. But you were cute and I was in a dry spell so don't let it go to your head."

He will note she did not act on anything then, because her attitude toward him had some pretty drastic changes in the years that followed. Distrust hell even fear at one point. She and Harry hadn't always seen eye to eye no height jokes there please, but they had found a way to work through their differences. She'd taken him out of the 5% category when they became friends and he had a thing with Susan.

It hadn't flipped the other direction until situations changed. Seriously, that night at the Wal-Mart emotions were running high and she kicked some massive ass and could damn well have grabbed him and given him the typical damsel dip kiss had the situation been less volatile. Then there was that whole thing at the Deeps, and then there was him riding behind her while they were chased by the Wild Hunt. Her heart was pounding so loud in her chest that she was amazed she could hear the Harley over it. She could have ridden Harry home that way she'd felt at that moment, but again the circumstances were not well suited.

"Telling me you had never thought of me that way until later?"

[dresdenforhire]

"Hey, that's about five percent more than I would have expected," I said with a grin. "And no worries, I'm letting everything that's happening now go to my head so we're covered."

Was I still more giddy about this than maybe a grown-ass man should be? Possibly, but I wasn't going to let anyone rain on my parade because I was walking hand-in-hand through the forest with Karrin Murphy. If I didn't believe in tempting Fate I would tell the universe to suck it. Instead I was just going to feel pretty good about myself and things in general for the moment.

"I mean, I was definitely aware that you were an incredibly attractive woman and had certain... personality traits that I found enticing," I said. I didn't think I was telling her anything that she didn't already know though. There was a time where I was pretty sure she would shoot me sooner than sleep with me but we had worked through that. "But you know how for a long time I was the definition of 'it's complicated'."

Part of me really regretted that. Obviously I wouldn't change things because of Maggie but in hindsight I wish I wouldn't have made Karrin wait so long.

"Not to say I didn't have a few very hot dreams about what you could do with a pair of handcuffs..."